Self Reliance Skills

Easy! Use the Three P’s: Pause, Prompt, and Praise.

• Pause: Give the child time to formulate a plan to solve a problem. Pauses give the child time to think. A pause communicates to the child there is an expectation for him/her to work out a solution.
• Prompt: Help your child problem solve by asking, "What else could you try?" or  "What do you think it could be?" Trust that your child will be able to draw upon previous knowledge and will be able to problem solve.
• Praise: Give helpful praise. For example, "You really worked hard on figuring that out!” instead of "Perfect” or “You are so smart.” Try to focus on the act when giving praise. “You really worked hard” acknowledges the act of problem solving. If a child is praised with “you are so smart” it becomes difficult for the child to feel that you have confidence in him when he isn't able to work out a problem.

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• Children need opportunities to accomplish simple tasks. An individual task that your child is responsible for doing on a daily basis teaches your child responsibility.
• Give your child daily tasks for personal responsibility such as brushing teeth, making bed, picking up toys
• Give your child daily tasks that help others such as feeding a pet or setting the table.
• Provide you child with a visual way to remember responsibilities, such as chart or picture label.
• Create opportunities for daily routines to be accomplished in a consistent manner, such as get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, do a simple chore daily before free play, screen time, or leaving for the day.
• Create occasional activities where a time allotment is predetermined. Such as “I am going to set the timer for 10 minutes, when you hear the timer it will be time to clean up.” This will help your child transition into allotted time activities at school. If your child struggles with transitions, give them added prompts such as “ in just a few more minutes, the timer will be going off and it will be time to clean up.”
• Give visual prompts to help with transitions. If the concept of time is difficult for your child to understand, there are apps that show an hourglass emptying or timer counting down.
• Be consistent in what you ask your child to do and then follow through. If you ask your child to go get his/her shoes, don’t go get them for him. If he/she is struggling to complete the task, then assist him/her in finding the shoes. Have your child take ownership of the task. Assist when needed but don’t take over.
• If possible, have a consistent bedtime and morning routine. Young children thrive on consistency. 
• Help your child to learn simple organizational skills such as having a set place to put his/her shoes or a designated place to hang up a coat. This helps your child in being able to organize personal belongings at school.
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• Give your child opportunities to follow simple two step directions such as put on your shoes and then sit on the couch. To reinforce listening, ask your child to repeat the requests you have made.
  • Parent: "I need you to put on your shoes and then sit on the couch."
  • Parent: "What do I need you to do?"
  • Child: "You need me to put on my shoes and then sit on the couch."
• Try not to repeat directions over and over. Repeating directions conditions a child to not listen the first time directions are given.
• When your child has mastered two step directions, transition into three step directions such as "I need you to put on your shoes, get your coat and sit on the couch."
• Have your child repeat the three step directions in order: I need to put on my shoes, get my coat and sit on the couch.

Utah's Early Childhood Core Standards for Social/Emotional Readiness

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